Sweet 16 Forever

In loving memory of my cousin,

Sydney Ella Ramirez 7/30/1994 – 11/4/2010

I can remember the day like it was yesterday, replaying every moment as if they were scenes in a movie, except it was all too real.

As I sat in a college library studying for a test in the universal language, I had no idea that these were the least of my problems compared to what I was about to hear.

It was that greatest fear, a call that is so powerfully painful that it makes clocks freeze, inhibits every movement of your body and mutes the world around you.

The waterfalls came with dozens of peering eyes, a flood ensued and the white water was tidal as it hit me, leaving me breathless and paralyzed.

When my extremities awoke it took the energy of a million joules to gather my thoughts and make the journey to the door, it was a trek of unimaginable distance.

Outside, the sun was blinding, and although it shone it’s warmth and joy, one cloud was hovering, the rain was pouring, it was dark and gloomy. I left a note for my professor, an emergency was looming.

At my car I stood, wishing it was a rocket ship to fly me to the place, where I could hold her hand and tell her everything is going to be okay.

My engine revved, up the five I went, the whole time I wept yet never once sped, I’ll get there when I get there but asked over and over why life is so unfair?

A prayer was given, when my professor called back, a man of both calculus and faith, now became my reverend for my mind’s state.

An entrance was made, never too late, all of my family sat there together and together we’d wait.

The eyes of our loved ones were dry as the desert, the redness ensued, hugs and kisses commenced, affections exchanged, none of it made sense.

We were patient and kind as we took turns in line, one by one we were given permission to say goodbye.

It was my turn, I took a deep breath, walked down that hall and I sat by the bed, she was so peaceful and beautiful as she lay there at rest.

“I love you Sydney, from now until eternity, your blood is my blood and we’ll forever be family.”

I held her hand in my own, it was warm like her soul, I felt her smile and laughter deep in my bones, I whispered sweet everythings letting all my love be known.

Ten years have passed, and I have never forgotten, to live without boundaries for you, that was my promise.

Nowadays she’s always with me, everywhere I go, no matter where I am, I see that hummingbird close by, with watchful eyes, we’re enjoying life’s nectar together, Sydney Ella Ramirez, sweet 16 forever.